The State of the School 2016
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Good parents prevent failure. This is one I think that we all sort of scam
ourselves with. “I let my kids fail.” Most of us won’t even let our children
get frustrated zipping their coats without intervention. The result? Adults who
do not have experience to know that failure is actually a step on the road to somewhere.
Not a final destination. Nor a final devastation.
Suffering.
Surely nothing good can come of this. It all depends on the event. When a child
makes a blatantly destructive, selfish or mean spirited choice, let the
suffering begin. There is no substitute. No work-around. A parent who
intervenes in this process is raising an adult who will not readily associate
her choices with the impact it has on those around her. But what about the
suffering at the hands of others or fate? In this case, offer comfort, offer
perspective, offer hot soup. Anything but intervention. (I am hoping we can all
set aside for the sake of this essay things like abuse and agree that these are
not the circumstances to which I am referring. More along the lines of, “I’m
not allowed to sit with my friends.” Or “The coach never puts me in.”
Statements that often end with, “It’s not fair!”) In these cases, a young soul
just needs some comfort and strong encouragement to get back up on the horse...
